Papa

Amongst the many that I have, one of my favorite childhood memories is going to my grandparents house for Christmas Eve. We knew there would be a lot of food. We knew there would be a lot of presents. We knew we got to hang out with the family. Specifically, we knew we would be able to be with Nana & Papa. We saw them all of the time, multiple times a week sometimes - but Christmas is obviously special.

I've been fortunate to have had many positive role models in my life. My grandfather is one of the best. A northwest Indiana iron-worker who loved his family as hard as he worked to provide for them. There wasn't anyone more fun to hang out with. We have pictures of him hunting and also original paintings he has done. His significance in my life and in who I am can't be explained, and he will always be one of my heroes. So obviously- Christmas is a special time to be with him.

Over the last 7-8 years my Papa - that's what I call him - has been suffering from small strokes. Each one is a scary ordeal in which we wonder if we'll have to say good-bye. He has fought through each one like the iron-worker he is - but the reality is that the strokes have had their toll, causing him to suffer from Alzheimer's. He now has to stay in bed most of the time and needs help with most everything.

To say this has been hard on our family would be an understatement. He and my Nana celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary this past November - so how can it not be hard.

He has always been one of the funniest people I know and any bit of sense of humor that I or anyone in my family has was inherited from him. He always joked with us. For example, the last time he was in the hospital a nurse came in and asked him if he was OK. His answer, "No, I'm Bob." Most every nurse who has cared for him would with an affectionate smile tell the family - "He is a very funny man."

A couple weeks ago my mom called me and told me about something he said or did, I honestly can't remember what it was. What I do remember was that it had to do with him being confused with something that happened. The way that he responded was apparently indeed funny, and my mom and Nana were laughing and joking with him about it. Relating the story to me my mom said, "You have to laugh about things - how could we handle it if we didn't."

And that's when I realized that for all my life Papa has been preparing all of us for how to cope with what he is dealing with. He taught us to laugh.

Not to laugh at him or at what he's going through, but to be able to find some sense of joy in the midst of the trial. He's still Papa - and we can still laugh with him.

This past Christmas we all gathered around his bed downstairs to take a picture with him. It was the culmination of a great Christmas Eve day.


A day in which I was able to hold his hand while we talked some and joked some.

A day when we got him upstairs and he was able to eat with all of us.

A day in which we all laughed - joked - and poked fun at each other.

And to be able to do all of that that this year was one of the best Christmas presents ever.

Winter Wonderland @ Navy Pier

Baylee & her cousins. Look at these good-lookin' kids:

Blue Like Monday

After sitting in my office at Moody for a couple hours, listening to the new Metalicca album, grading papers & finishing up artwork for the next New Life series - I'm ready to go home. I've been looking forward to this week for awhile: being able to spend extra time with Jeannette & Baylee and family, being able to read a little more and play a little more. Tonight is Navy Pier with our neices & nephew. The Christmas marathon begins.

I purposely didn't read Blue Like Jazz when it first came out because most of Christiandom was reading it and loving it. If I can't get in on the first wave of people to read a book like that before it becomes "popular" I normally wait until the hype settles before I pick it up. The hype for Blue Like Jazz has been down for quite awhile, but it was just always another book on the "need to read" stack. Decided to go ahead and give it a try though - and am enjoying it. It seems similar to Orthodoxy by Chesterton, which isn't a bad thing. I can tell I'll probably like it, but there's still 17 chapters to read - so the jury is still in session.

After reading a chapter of it today though, the thing I've realized is that I need to revisit some books I've read in the past. People who know I'm reading Blue Like Jazz have made comments such as "that's my favorite!" or "that book really impacted me!" The typical cliches we use. But...I have those books as well, and for some its been awhile since I've read them. So, I think for 2009 I'm going to make a reread list of books. Need to stand in front of my library to make an accurate list, but here's what came to mind right now:

• Orthodoxy; G. K. Chesterton
• Mere Christanity; C. S. Lewis
  
• The Pursuit of God; A. W. Tozer
• Messy Spirituality; Mike Yaconelli
• The Jesus I Never Knew; Phillip Yancy
  
• The Trivialization of God; Donald McCullough
• Can Man Live Without God; Ravi Zacharius
• Mudhouse Sabbath; Lauren Winner

Too many books, not enough time.

Christmas Shopping

Christmas shopping isn't so bad. I listen to an audio book while I'm waiting in line. I do multiple laps around Sam's Club while I'm there so that I can have multiple takes at the samples, hence a free lunch. I sit at my laptop and click a few links for what's left. What's all the stress about?

I confess, I'm a gift person. Like buying gifts for people, getting them things I know they want. I'm excited about giving things to Jeannette this year. Have to still go shopping for Baylee for a couple things - which is always fun. Just watching her open things is worth buying her stuff. But I confess further, I love getting gifts also. In fact, I probably get kid-excited, still making out a Christmas list. I find no shame in this - because the truth is: Christmas is about receiving!

That's right - I said it, "Christmas is about receiving."

At its deepest, corest reality - Christmas is about what we receive, not what we give. For what is Christmas but a celebration of Jesus' birth - He was given to us. I did not earn Him or His love, I do nothing to gain more of Him but freely accept Him - for He was given to me out of the depth of the Father's love for me.

Excited about the gifts I receive, I'll remember that He was given to me.
Excited about the gifts I'll give, I'll remember the love in which He was given to me.

"Hey Bro!"

Being new to the New Life team, I've teased the rest of the guys on the pastoral team about how often everyone uses the word bro.

"Hey, bro!"
"How you doing, bro?"
"Good to see you, bro!"
"Good job bro!"
"Praying for you bro!"

I'm not used to the general title and it's funny to hear people use such a common word so often, without really realizing it. Right, dude?

Over the short time I've been able to interact with the leaders here, I'm seeing more and more that this isn't just a flippantly used cliché. It's a bonding word – it's a relational word that concisely gets to the deep relationship these men have. Someone in a meeting a couple weeks ago said it was a "brotherhood." This explains why some of the guys like the Lord of the Rings "Fellowship" so much. Monday morning's pastoral meeting is like a weekly gathering of the Council of Elrond.

This brotherhood isn't just something interesting to observe, it's a privledge to be apart of. I feel a deep sense of honor knowing I am member of this brotherhood now, part of this Fellowship. Not as much history as some - but definitly just as much a bro.

Kevin made me do it.

A year and a half ago when I decided to try blogging again, I blamed it on Darren Larson. Or at least my efforts to be as cool as Darren. Now I point the finger at Kevin Bruursema. A little John Palmieri also. Always easier to blame someone else. Right Eve?

I had a conversation with Kyle Flanner tonight at SHIFT about blogging - the main point being, "Why do it?" The repeated phrase that we shared was, "processing life." Hence, the renaming of this blog. As I read books, watch movies, experience things with my family and friends, or whatever - I'm going to try and process it here as much as I can, should.

Most people I've met who blog fall into one of three categories
1. They think the entire world reads their blog.
2. They think no one reads their blog.
3. Starting out within either #1 or #2 they quickly forget that they have a blog.

I know those are huge exaggerations. Just the same, my goal is to avoid #'s 1 and 3 and just write as if #2 is true.

If someone decides to check back here periodically to read what I write...well, it's your internet bill.