The Weight of Time

Both my grandparents and aunt & uncle own next door trailers on a small fishing lake, near Terre Haute, Ind. My mom & stepdad bought my grandparents trailer last fall, so we all decided to go down there over Memorial Day weekend. Though we've been eating fish out of that lake for almost 20 years, this was the first time in probably over 5 years that almost all our family has been down there at the same time: parents, siblings, aunt & uncle, cousins - just not our grandparents or one other cousin this time.

Caught almost a dozen fish over the weekend, most keepers, and I'll go ahead and brag - a bass that was the biggest caught over the weekend. Baylee and I went on her first boat ride and she helped me fish some. She fearlessly held both a worm and a fish. We all stayed up around the fire till past midnight talking & laughing, and also partook in the family tradition of playing Phase 10.

Tuesday before we left I was on the dock with Baylee for a last time. While basking in how much fun the weekend had been and also reminicing of other times standing on the same dock, a real weight came on me: the weight of time. I didn't realize how heavy something could be that you can't hold in your hand.

The weight of the past. All of my memories of the trailer are positive and special, and they bring me immense joy thinking about them. But what was heavy to me is what is obvious: I can't relive many of them. Sure I can still fish down there again...but never again with my grandpa. I dropped my glasses in the lake this past weekend...but it wasn't the same hilarious family experience as when my grandpa did it years ago. It's the same when you're remembering life after you see high school, college, or old church friends on Facebook. How many times in our lives have we been in a moment with friends or family and thought, "I hope this moment never ends." Yeah, they all did. You just can't TIVO the past, rewind & relive...and knowing that to be true doesn't mean it doesn't suck any less.

The weight of the future. Driving home up 41, sharing with Jeannette about being on the dock with Baylee, we started talking about the future as well. We'll be 50 when Baylee is 18, 60 when she's 28. I want more time with her than that! Only God knows if we'll even have that much time with her. It's a pretty heavy thought to wonder if someday you'll get to hold your 2 year old's 2 year old.

All this heaviness wasn't/shouldn't be about saddness, for me it was about necessary clarity.

I've been waking up earlier these last couple days to get to my work and get it done, so I can be home a little earlier. A two year old who doesn't want to go to bed hasn't been that big of a deal. Still frustrating, but a frustration that I know I need to cherish.

Like pressure on coal to make a diamond, the weight of the past & future give the necesary focus needed for the present.

From a drive I had late at night last week, the below Chris Rice song has been stuck in my head. Didn't know I'd be grasping it's message over Memorial Day weekend, as it pretty much encompasses what hit me on the dock standing there with Baylee:

Life Means So Much:
Everyday is a journal page
Every man holds a quill and ink
And there’s plenty of room for writing in
All we do and believe and think
So will you compose a curse
Or will today bring the blessings
Fill the page with rhyming verse
Or some random sketchings

Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
Somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
Life means so much
Life means so much

Everyday is a bank account
And time is our currency
So no one’s rich, nobody’s poor
We get twenty-four hours each
So how are you gonna spend
Will you invest or squander
Try to get ahead
Or help someone who’s under

Has anybody lived who knew the value of a life?
And don’t you think giving his own
Would prove the worth of yours and mine?

Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
Somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
Life means so much
Life means so much

John & Kate Plus 8

Great weekend that I plan on blogging some thoughts about, hopefully tomorrow. Until then, a friend of mine made some good comments about John & Kate Plus 8 that I thought were worth passing along. To be honest, I've never watched the show - but this a good word:

John & Kate Plus 8 - by Chris Carr
Last night I happened to catch the end of a rerun of the season premier of the show "John & Kate Plus 8." If you are unfamiliar with the show it is a reality (or unreality) show featuring a married couple (John & Kate Gosselin) with eight children -- 7 year-old twins and 5 year-old sextuplets (that's six!).

The premier drew a cable record 9.8 million viewers, mostly due to the fact that the Gosselin's are rumored to be heading towards a divorce. While there is a lot that could (and perhaps needs to be) addressed here, it's obvious that the Gosselin's and many in our culture just don't get what marriage is about.

The last 7-8 minutes of the premier focused upon John & Kate and their collective and individual responses to where their marriage was headed. They both essentially shared that whatever happens, they are going to make sure that they will do what is best for their children.

What they don't get is that (1) it isn't about the kids and (2) the best thing for the kids is for it not to be about them.

Why? Because marriage at it's foundation is about the vows -- the covenantal life-time commitment that husband and wife make to one another. When those vows aren't honored, everything else in a family falls apart. What the Gosselin kids need the most is John & Kate to reconcile and faithfully carry out their God-ordained and sanctioned roles as spouses and parents.

I have no idea if the Gosselin's are believers or not, but that is besides the point. If they really want the best for their kids, they will work this out and remain faithful to the commitment they made to one another and to God. Only then can they work towards what is best for their children.
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Interestingly enough, another friend also wrote about the show. Darren's entry is longer, an actual open letter to John & Kate, and is on his blog: Christos Kurios

An Exciting Glimpse of the Future Church

We hear a lot of negative today about the state of Christian church, some of it founded and some of it not. But the way some of the negative is put you would think that we have to fear for the future of the church - that it's just too messed up and beyond hope.

Now, there are two huge reasons why I have hope and excitement for the future of the church (and the present). The first is in the fact Jesus promised us He would build His church. The second reason is in my firsthand experience in and with church: it can be and is a beautiful thing.

My point in saying all of the above is to highlight the fact I'm now able to add a third reason for excitement and hope in the church.

Last August I started teaching at Moody Bible Institute as an adjunct professor and have had the privilege of teaching and getting to know 76 students over the course of three different classes. These are future pastors, teachers, youth pastors/leaders, counselors, missionaries, church leaders, writers, and a variety of other focuses - all current and/or future embracers and builders of the church, impacters and influencers of culture.

Thinking about the students I've had these past two semesters, it's evident to me that God has some pretty amazing and talented people to work through. The future church is looking pretty good. It's been exciting for me to see it and be a part of it.

So...a "shout out" to my Moody students! Thanks for a great first year of teaching and three great classes! You're all awesome!

Why I'm pumped about the future of the American Church

Here's another great article I just read, this one from Larry Osborne, pastor of North Coast Church in Vista, California. It's good to hear a positive and word about the church:

Why I'm pumped about the future of the American Church
Published April 27, 2009

It’s fashionable to decry the current state of Christianity in America.

But frankly, I don’t buy it.

Some of the most popular conference speakers on the circuit today excel at drive-by-guiltings. They paint a picture of a church that lacks guts, cowers from dying to self, and lives out a self-satisfied, what’s-in-it-for-me Christianity.

In most cases, I like these speakers. They are good guys. I respect them. But I just don’t agree on this issue.

I’ve noticed that their audience is usually a room full of charge-the-hill-type young leaders who eat it up and then return home to look with disdain upon other churches, pastors, leaders, and often their own congregation (oblivious to how much they have in common with the self-congratulatory zealot in Luke 11: 9-14).

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Now don’t get me wrong, I’ll agree that we have lots of carnality and self-centered living in our churches today. But come on, that’s nothing new. It’s been like that from the beginning. It’s simply not accurate to paint a heroic picture of the early church without also pointing out its many failures. In reality, the early church was pretty messed up, about as messed up as the American Church.

Have we forgotten . . .

• Those who willingly sold what they had to share with those in need thought Jesus was returning any day. So when the Pentecost pilgrims who stayed rather than return home ran out of money (no one carried a debit card) the Jerusalem Christians sold possessions, fields, and homes to meet their need. I’m sure I would too if I thought Jesus was returning in the next couple of weeks.
• They ended up broke. So much so that the Gentile churches took up a special collection for the impoverished saints in Jerusalem. Between persecutions and previously selling much of what they had, the Jerusalem church ended up in poverty. Perhaps Acts 2:41-47 is descriptive rather than prescriptive. After all, I know of no one who suggests we should be meeting daily, in Jerusalem, in the temple courts.
• The early church ignored Jesus’ command to take the gospel to the world. They flat out disobeyed. They stayed in Jerusalem. Eventually God had to send a great persecution to drive them out of their holy huddle and jump start the expansion of the kingdom. That’s the only reason they left according to Acts 8:1
• The early church was unwilling to share the gospel with Gentiles. And once they did, they didn’t want to allow them full status as Christians. Only after a contentious debate at the Jerusalem council did things change. And even after that, the battle raged on. That’s one of the major reasons we have the books of Galatians and Hebrews in our Bibles.
• The Apostle Paul’s church plants were so messed up (both doctrinally and morally) he later had to write a bunch of letters to get them back on track. The Corinthians were visiting temple prostitutes, ignoring sin in the name of grace, hoarding the good stuff at church pot-lucks. And they seem to have forgotten that the resurrection really mattered. Timothy had to be reminded not to appoint the town drunk as an elder. The Galatians’ and Colossians’ flirted with heresy. And that’s just the beginning of a long list of sins and goofy thinking that had to be corrected.
• The early church leaders were as feisty and flakey as today’s leaders. Paul and Barnabas had a messy split over how to handle a young intern named John Mark. Peter fell into hypocrisy and pretended to be a legalist until called out by Paul. And didn’t everyone skip out on Paul during his time of greatest need?
• Jesus also had some rather unflattering things to say to the New Testament churches. Most of the churches mentioned in Revelation 2-3 hardly set an example I’d want my church to follow.

So when we call for a return to the New Testament church, do we really know what we’re asking for? In many cases, I think not.

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And in light of that, here’s why I’m so pumped about the future of the American church.

1. Jesus said he would build his church and the gates of hell could not hold it back. So I’ll bank on his promise despite some occasional setbacks.
2. As seen above, things might not be as bleak as they appear. Yes, we’re messed up, but so was the early church; and God used them to turn the world upside down.
3. God has already hand-picked a new breed of leaders and shepherds to care for his flock and beautify his bride. In my travels around the country, I run into them all the time. I wish everyone could see what I see and spend time with them as I do. They are the real deal. Many are already leading huge churches at a young age. Thousands more are heeding the call to become church planters. A plethora of church planting networks and organizations have spontaneously formed to recruit, train, and deploy these folks into ministry. It’s not only encouraging, it’s humbling.

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Does that mean they will win our nation back?

I don’t know. That’s out of their control. They can only be faithful and prepare the horse for battle. God will determine the outcome.

I said I was pumped about the future of the American church – not America.

So what do you think?

Good Christians - Lousy Neighbors!

My friend Matt from New Life sent out this article yesterday that I thought was worth sharing. Give it a read...and then don't be a lame neighbor!!!

Good Christians - Lousy Neighbors!
- by Bob Lupton; June 1994

On our street, the most unneighborly residents are those most involved in their churches. This strikes me as being rather odd.

The May's* are a good example. They are a solid African American family with much to offer a neighborhood. Jim is a hard worker and natural born leader. Betty is a teacher and is great with kids. Their three children are well behaved, neatly groomed and bright. Their leadership, spiritual values and strength of character are much needed influences for struggling families and youth our urban community. But there is a conflict: the May's are heavily involved in their church. The same talents that are needed in our neighborhood are also needed in their church. And there doesn't seem to be enough time to do both. Jim and Betty never come to a community meeting or work on the playground or support a neighborhood youth activity. About the only time we see them is when they are pulling in and out of their driveway. And the May's are just one example. There are a number of others in our neighborhood too involved in church to be involved in community life.

I'm not saying that these are bad neighbors. They're more like un-neighbors - people who live on our street but contribute nothing to the well-being of our street. With the church as the centre around which their busy lives revolve, they become isolated from their neighborhood. Prayer meetings, choir rehearsal, visitation, Bible studies, committees, retreats and two services on Sunday pretty well consume their non-working hours. But how can you fault them? These are honorable, upright people who take their faith very seriously. They're good Christians, just not good neighbors, that's all.

With our nation's cities rapidly unravelling while church attendance climbs to record highs, I cannot help but wonder if something has gone wrong with the way we are doing church. I am beginning to suspect that a model of church that competes with, rather than promotes, being a good neighbor may be fundamentally flawed. My understanding is that God placed a rather high value on being a good neighbor, elevating it to a level of importance equal to that of loving God. One would have to wonder, then, just how acceptable to Him is the substitution of being a good church member in place of being a good neighbor.

Our urbanizing society is coming apart in large measure because of the disintegration of our communities. To oversimplify, healthy families produce healthy communities and healthy communities produce healthy families - these are the fundamental building blocks of society. Families are as vulnerable without stable communities as communities are without stable families. Without interconnected neighbors functioning as living ligatures to hold neighborhoods together, disintegration occurs. We see the results in living color each night in our living rooms on the evening news. If our contemporary model of church encourages - implicitly or explicitly, by its demands or its theology - the withdrawal from active, redemptive community participation, it may unwittingly be promoting this disintegration.

Is there an unavoidable conflict between our community of faith and our community of residence? Do strong loyalties to church necessitate disengagement from those who live next door? If so, I have a misconception of the role of the Christian in this world. I have understood the historic mission of the Church to be a pro-active force, armed with vulnerable love, infiltrating every strata of society, transforming fallen people and systems through the power of the Spirit. While it is tempting to allow the local church body to become our enclave of like-minded friends that provides a protective haven from the daily bombardment of destructive values, engagement - not withdrawal - has always been the operative word of the Church militant. And love of one's neighbor remains its fundamental tactic.

I wonder what a church would look like that measured its success by the quality of its members' neighborly love. What impact would such a church have on a troubled society if it undertook intentional training in loving God by loving neighbor? How different - how needed - would be the model that commissioned its most gifted to the strategic office of neighbor!

Special moments with Baylee

No thoughtful posts today, just a bragging daddy saying how much he loves his little girl. Here's two videos from when we were out yesterday:

We found a beaver swimming in Lake Katherine:


I sat in the backseat yesterday to keep Baylee awake and got her to do a little impromptu concert. Needed some prompting here and there, but nevertheless, she rocked out:

How to read a lot of books

A question I get periodically was asked again last night, "How do you read so many books?" The simplest explanation is that I love to read, it's one of my favorite things to do. Beyond that though, here's some practical things that might help someone read more:

- Pick books you'll enjoy. What might seem like a "duh" is actually a big reason why, I think, people don't enjoy reading: the books they've read aren't enjoyable to them. Maybe your high school teacher wouldn't let up on Shakespeare and you just abhorred it, so you have this nervous twitch that kicks in whenever you see any book because you're afraid of "to be or not to be." Reading isn't supposed to feel like a homework assignment, it's something that's meant to be enjoyed. Leave the wounds from your high school English teacher in the past and find a book YOU want to read because YOU'RE choosing to read it.

- Think correctly about reading. Reading is not a mere leisure activity. For some reading is actually part of their work's training/development. Obviously you shouldn't read for the whole day, and equally important, you should have your boss' approval. But to take a short block of time each day or a couple times a week should actually be expected and shouldn't bring a false sense of guilt that you are wasting time. It's called sharpening your skills. If you're in ministry, read books about ministry; if you're a teacher, read books about teaching; and so on.

- Make time for it. If you want to read more then you have to establish some type of rhythm in your week for when you are going to read. If I'm not having lunch with anyone then I read while I'm eating, I also read later at night when the rest of the family goes to bed. For you it might be cutting out a TV show, early in the morning, or an hour at a coffeeshop in the evening. But if it takes time to read then you have to make the time.

- Carry a book with you all the time. How often do you wait in line? How often do you wait period? I hate wasting time, and awhile back I figured out that it was my choice whether waiting time became wasted time. I started carrying a paperback around with me wherever I went. A few pages can be read while waiting in line at the grocery story and probably a whole chapter sitting in the doctor's office. If you ride the train a lot in Chicago then you're being handed blocks of time to read - so why not have a book with you? Don't waste time staring at walls or the back of peoples' heads when you could get through some pages.

- Listen to Audio books. How often you wait in line is one thing, but think about how much time you spend in the car, especially if you commute. To not get stressed out in gridlock I began listening to unabridged audiobooks. Unabridged means that someone is reading a novel word for word as it is in the hardcopy of the book. If I'm alone in the car I have an audiobook on, and I probably listen to two a month on average. A lot of libraries have unabridged books on CD that you can check out. I get mine through a subscription to audbile.com.

- Read a variety of things. Read fiction and read non-fiction, read older authors and read newer authors, read authors whose ideas you agree with and also those whose you don't. Book options shouldn't be treated like the same old menu item you resort to - books are like a buffet: the options change all the time and you can take whatever you want. I'm going to blog about this another time, but I don't think it's beneficial to only read one particular type of book. Balance is the key. At any given time I have a non-fiction book (normally what I read during the day) and a fiction book (read at night) that I'm reading (plus my audio book).

- Connect and discuss with others. When you run into someone who is or has read the same book you've read it can bring about an amazing conversation. Shared observations, insights, and meaninful reflections make it more than just a a good book you've read - it becomes a deeper connection with another person. Plus, if you are stuck as to what to read the best place to start is to ask someone what good books they've read. Just seeing them on the shelf I probably would have never read any books by Orson Scott Card. But, a friend of mine who knows I like fantasy highly recommended him to me and explained why he liked his books so much. Since that conversation a few years ago I've probably read over 15 books by Card and he's now one of my favorite authors.

Other than the above, the only other really big thing I could say is that you need to make reading your own thing. Don't compare your reading preferences and speed to others. I read on average 50 books a year and from a wide variety of topics and authors. I know of some people who read more than me and some who read less. Regardless, none of that should matter to you. If you only read 1 book a month that is AWESOME! Connect with others because of books, but don't think you have to become others. Just read, and enjoy it.

So go buy a good book and find some time to enjoy it. If you need ideas, the books I'm reading, have recently read, and my favorites are on the left side of the blog a little ways down.

Blog fixed: Subscription Links

A couple people told me there were issues subscribing to my blog, so I fixed the links and made them easier to utilize.

To the right you can see the two options.

If you click the first you can follow my blog in a RSS like Google Reader. If you click the second and then follow the instructions you will receive an email whenever I update.

There is a third option if you use Google and/or Blogger - and that's to click on "follow blog" at the top of the page.

Thanks for reading my blog. Leave some comments and dialogue with me when you can.

And since this is a short, lame entry, let me take some space to recommend a couple of my friend's blog you might want to check out:

• Kevin's: Caffine, Please
• D's: dikrankoundakjian.com
• Amy's: Mentholatum Is Cool
  

Another Great Story you need to hear: Sarah Cook's story

Sarah Cook was in our youth group for a long time, a girl we love and care about very much. Sarah recently had the opportunity to share her story on the Joyce Meyer's television show. Not a Joyce Meyer fan - but I am a huge Sarah Cook fan, and here is her story:

The first part is all Sarah:


The second part is Sarah dialoging with Joyce Meyers:


I had to break them up in order to have the whole thing fit on YouTube.

Pass Sarah's story on to those you think would be encouraged by it.

Prince & Guitar Hero & Time

The video game Guitar Hero is pushing their brand by releasing band-specific titles, such as Guitar Hero Aerosmith and Guitar Hero Metallica. Apparently the artist everyone knows as Prince was also asked to do such a title. According to an article on Gamespot, here was his explanation as to why he told them, "No"

"Well, I ain't mad at them. I hear it made, like, $2 billion and they came to us and offered us a very small portion of that," explained Prince. "But I just think it's more important that kids learn how to actually play the guitar. It's a tough instrument--it's not easy. It took me a long time, and it was frustrating at first. And you just have to stick with it, and it's cool for people who don't have time to learn the chords or ain't interested in it, but to play music is one of the greatest things."

Regardless if you care that doves cry or not, his is a respectable answer. It goes along with what I heard in a message once, "If you actually took all of the time you use to play the game to practice the real guitar you would literally become a real Guitar Hero!"

It's one thing to make a buck making your own video game, but I respect that Prince is encouraging kids/teens to take up the actual instrument. It would be great if some of the other big names would do that as well.

Oh...but what all could be accomplished with wasted time? I'm a fan of video games, but there needs to be balance - I need to remind myself that there needs to be balance. But video games aren't the only thing people waste time on - we all do it in one way or another.

Think about this - some people actually waste time on doing more work. Being active doesn't equal being efficient. Within the time economy we're given to budget, time used to do more work that should be used with family or for resting is wasted time!

And there is so much that can be done with that extra time. Even learning to play guitar like Prince. Hey...he might be kinda weird, but he definitely can jam.